Why I have no intention of loving my body

Oh here we go again with the controversial blog posts. 

It is not about thinking less of myself, it is simply about thinking of myself less. 

That's basically what I think. I can't remember where I've got that phrase from, I think it might have been the 'will you be my facebook friend' book which I LOVE, but I'm not actually sure. 

I don't want to hate my body, but I don't want to love it either. 

Let's get one thing straight: 'Love' is not the same as 'appreciate' or 'respect'. 

I respect my body. I do now, anyway. I know that it was given to me and that I have a responsibility to look after it. I don't smoke, I don't drink in excess, I don't do things which I know to be harmful to my body. 

I appreciate it, too. I appreciate all of the things which it can still do, after years of me hating it and telling it so, one way or another. I appreciate the fact that largely, it functions normally, and I know that I could have things far, far worse than I do. I appreciate that my organs keep me alive and well to see this beautiful life every single day. 

Why don't I love it, then? Or even want to love it? 

If I'm going to love my body, and not be really really shallow about it, then really, I have to love it inside and out. I don't want to love the inside, because it's rubbish. This isn't just a me thing, this is an everyone thing, all of our bodies are malfunctioning in some way, and I think to 'love' it, is to ignore how imperfect it is.

If I love how my body works, then I resign myself to loving depression, and let me tell you, I do not love depression. I concede and end up loving tight muscles and headaches and period pain and the need for physiotherapy and antidepressants and painkillers. I don't love that, it's really quite annoying. While I appreciate it and am grateful because I know that these are things which I can manage, I do not love them. 

I don't think that the notion that we should all love ourselves is particularly helpful. 

What if we just think about ourselves less. What if we just assign less value to our bodies, our looks, our aesthetics. What if in trying not to hate our bodies as we so often do as 20-something women, we decide to just think about them less. What if we become grateful for what it can do and aware of what it cannot do - learning to respect and appreciate it without the need to actively love it.