Since being told that I couldn't go back to university post the great depression of 2015 (apparently that's what we refer to it as now), I concentrated quite a lot on improving my blog. That might not have become apparent just yet; it's mainly involved a lot of reading, a lot of sorting, a lot of emails, and a lot of saving articles about photography and SEO and all of the other things that 'proper bloggers' are supposed to know about. Cut to a year later, and I'm still there - doing the same thing, reading, knowing, but struggling to implement.
I am a proper blogger. Repeat. I am a proper blogger.
Pushing myself to advertise in December was a good idea, I think. It forced me to take my blog seriously, to have some confidence, and to post regularly. I was going to post every day and I definitely haven't done that, but I can let that go for now. I have pushed myself in a direction towards posting more regularly before, and it hasn't gone that well for me. I've found in the past that I've stopped writing down my hopes and fears and prayers, stopped writing down things that i was angry about which I could never post on the internet, because I only saw the point if I was creating content which the internet wanted to read. The fact that my views were going up, followers were going up, social media impact was going up, even just a tiny little bit had made me forget why I started all of this in the first place.
I don't write very much for pleasure or peace of mind, now.
I've always written. I didn't have to put it on the internet, though. I didn't have to write it on a blog, or post it on Facebook or Twitter. I did all of those things because I enjoyed writing, and because I wanted it to make a difference to someone else, even just one person. Yet I wrote it for me. I wrote it so that I could process all of the things which I could have said. After that, I wrote mainly for myself - the fact that it was going on the internet just forced me to form sentences which I was grammatically relatively proud of. There are considerably fewer sentences beginning with 'And' on my blog than there are in my journal, in case you were wondering.
I'm hoping that this can serve as some kind of encouragement - an encouragement to remember why you started writing.
Remember what it did for you - how it served you. Remember why you enjoyed it, what made you turn it into your hobby, and possibly what made you turn that into your job. Mainly though, this is a reminder not to think so frequently about creating for the internet, that you forget to create for yourself.